Donnerstag, 9. September 2010

no word from google

google has not yet said anything about the status of my adsense application. i guess google has little trust in ex-cons. yet another example of how unwilling people are to give second chances.

Montag, 6. September 2010


i always wondered why aliens treat the human anus as the most important research topic there is. have you ever heard of an ear-probe or a nostril-probe? me neither.

i don't know what it is, but when you are incarcerated, suddenly the human (and by human i mean male) anus gradually becomes the center of all your attention. this has led me to believe, that all the aliens that stop by earth must be ex-cons.

Freitag, 3. September 2010

how i made a new guy my bitch one day

one time a new guy had to stay in my cell. without prior conversation i winked at him, said "you are my princess" and made a long cheese cartoon kissing sound.

naturally everybody tries to make everybody his bitch. by that time i was still pretty new myself. the other guy was pretty impressed of how quick he was my bitch. i was a good bitchdaddy at first.

Donnerstag, 2. September 2010

poop fights

nobody was allowed to have a weapon. there was still conflict though. when one inmate found a way to carry a weapon, the others quickly adapted. after a short while it was common to carry a short weapon (like a short pipe) inside your anus. in order to use the weapon it had to be quickly pooped out. the first person to poop out their weapon usually won the fight, which is why it was practiced to perfection. even the best poop fighters still took about 10 seconds or more to get their weapon ready.

it was always fun to watch these fights. there was always these few seconds before a fight when nothing happened but two guys facing each other squatting down, pants down to their ankles, making a strange face. some guys with life sentences always touched themselves during those fights.

i've heard that some guards trade or sell copies of these fights taken by security cameras.

Mittwoch, 1. September 2010


many inmates tried to kill themselves. since nowadays anything can be turned into a weapon (thanks macgyver) you would hardly see anything dangerous. no sheets, no napkins, no pens, you get the picture. whenever something dangerous was around there was usually someone getting ready to cease the moment.

when i first got out i was overwhelmed by the amount of potential danger i was perceiving. this incredible sense of discofort overcame me, every time i saw a straw or a paper cup on the ground.